BIG and BIGGER...How I Am Living Now...

As a woman who used to be no bigger than a size 10 for years, imagine my shock and horror when I slowly became a 16, 18 and ultimately a size 28.  Never once as a young person did I ever see myself being plus size.  My self esteem went down as my weight went up.

It all started in 2004 when I had a nervous breakdown in law school.  I was put on medication and my weight ballooned to 232 pounds.  I was miserable in my own skin.  My clothes didn't fit and I did not feel beautiful, pretty or curvy.  I felt fat.  I know, I said it...the dreaded words, FAT.

I stopped taking the medications so that I could slim down but that took me several years to lose the weight.  By 2007, I was a cool 177 pounds.  I was back to a size 10 and I felt great!!!  Nothing could stop my confidence from shooting through the roof.

However, my weight ballooned again in 2011 when I realized the man that I loved didn't see a future with me.  He disappeared and would come back for sex every now and then.  I tried to stay positive and hoped for the best.  He started criticizing me, my accent, my job, my apartment and my life.  Pathetic is how I felt.  His words cut like a knife and I started reaching for sweets and fried foods all the time.  Before I knew it, I was a BIG Girl again and a size 28!!!  How did this happen again?  How had I let myself go?

When I met this man, I was a size 16.  As my body got bigger, I could see his disgust and that played over and over in my mind.  You would think that that would stop me from eating but it did not.  I knew I couldn't have him, not now or ever.  My depression became overwhelming.  I wanted to die quickly.  I was eating myself into an early grave.  Time was my enemy because my mind stayed focused on him.

Today, things are different.  I lost the weight and am now a size 14.  But it took 2 years of hell for me to see the light.  The enemy was within.  I gave my power to a man who did not deserve it.  Now, I am better for this experience.  This is not to say that my weight is no longer an issue for it is and probably always will be.

What changed was how I saw myself and the situation.  I let his thoughts and opinions of me become how I saw myself.  Once I realized that we were never going to be and never should have been, my heart started to let go.  My sadness wasn't so profound.  I relaxed and started eating better and treating myself right.

Today, being a size 10 is not where I want to be.  I just want to continue to feel good in my own skin.  Ready to join me?  See yourself as you are and not how you wish and hope to be.  To be imperfect and to have flaws is beautifully human.

Keep moving forward...ALWAYS.  GO BIG OR GO HOME!!!

Kool and the Gang...

Right now, I am in love with a woman who has been here for me through thick and thin.  She has inspired me to never give up on any of my dreams and encouraged my growth, whether spiritually or emotionally.  Weight gain, weight loss, weight gain, weight loss means nothing to our relationship.  She is beautiful, talented and a wonderful, trusted friend.  Who is she?  Why me, of course!!!

Years ago, I couldn't stand my own reflection.  I cringed whenever I heard the sound of my own voice.  I placed more value on my clothes, money and physical possessions than my own life.  I battled the three demons of alcohol, sex and drugs. Yet, I am still here...still standing tall at the age of 33.

I meet a number of people today who call me inspirational.  At first, I was flattered by the compliment but thought nothing of it.  A few days ago, I stopped and truly reflected on how often I hear those words and  what they really mean.  I took stock of my life and cried tears of joy.  My goodness, I am a woman who should have been dead years ago by my own hands.

I know what it feels like to have a mother who does not love me.  My father was a crack cocaine addict.  I have been physically, emotionally and sexually abused and scarred by the experiences.  I have also wanted to die and tried to kill myself.  At the end of the day, I am still here.

I am also the first person in my family to go to college.  Then law school.  I have been kicked out of Georgetown University Law Center and later had a nervous breakdown.  Now, I am an attorney, entrepreneur, teacher and motivational speaker.  I speak truth and am authentically Precious at all times.

Who knew that the woman I am today would have come from so low on the totem pole?  Not me.  But by the Grace of GOD, I am have lived to tell the tale.  That is why I can encourage others to see beyond, as Joel Osteen always says, "the natural."  Within each of us is the supernatural.  We can all overcome any and all obstacles.  I wouldn't say that it is easy but challenges are meant to be overcome.

Am I inspirational?  Yes, but not for all these reasons.  I believe my life is inspirational because my heart wouldn't let me give up on life completely.  I love myself for every battle scar I have that reminds me of where I have come from.  I acknowledge every experience I have had from having my heart broken twice, to gaining 120 pounds in 1 year, to being forced to see that the life I wanted was within my grasp.

In the end, it goes back to never look back and never think twice.  You have the power to fall in love with yourself too.  That curvy girl in the mirror needs your love and support today.  Your heart and experiences can impact generations. 

Keep moving forward...ALWAYS.  GO BIG OR GO HOME!!!

Jumping in with Both Feet!!!

Did you know that "everybody dies but not everybody lives?"  As I have grown, I have encountered many women who are barely getting by and do not know why.  Deep down, they ache to break free of mediocrity but can't seem to take the next step and actually live their lives on their terms.

Don't get me wrong.  That woman used to be me.  I sat day after day, reading those celebrity magazines and business books, saying to myself that I wish I had those lives.  I couldn't accept that living the good life, traveling around the world, and having more money was indeed possible in my life.  Awhile ago, I believed that I wasn't that talented, beautiful, or skillful enough to do the impossible.   Hell, no one around me was doing anything but going to work, coming home, sitting in front of the television, paying bills, and maybe going on vacation every few years.  There also wasn't the love of a good man or woman in their lives.

At some point, my life became unbearable.  I couldn't stand another day of just being average.  So
what did I do?  I first started by changing my friends.  I was no longer content with hanging around people on my level and below.  I wanted to surround myself with others who were above me and doing the very things I dreamed about.  It was sad to leave some of my friends behind but our relationships were not growing.  I started going to networking events and putting my talents on display.  I learned how to work a room like a pro and enjoyed meeting new people.  Before I knew it, I was going to new places with new people, and having a blast!!!

Another thing I did was start reading self help books.  Nothing new age but the classics for I felt that these people had nailed how to live the life of my dreams.  I started reading a book every month which led to a book every two weeks to now ready a book a week.  Its so beautiful to see my life change when I actually did the exercises to change my mindset about life.  Life became an amazing journey of self discovery and not one of misery, stress and sacrifice.  My purpose soon became revealed and I loved knowing that every day I was moving closer to the goal.

I began realizing how my negative vocabulary was affecting my life.  I stopped saying what I couldn't do and focused on what I could do.  I began going after what I wanted instead of holding myself back for fear of what others may think.

I stopped being led so much by fear.  Fear of the unknown was killing me.  Fear of making a mistake strangled my desire to be free of mediocrity.  One day, I decided that the time had come to embrace fear and do everything I wanted to do anyway.  Once I did that, life opened up in a new way.  Fear is still a part of my life but it is manageable now.

These are a few ways I have learned to move on in life.  I do not mean to make it sound easy but it is very doable.  It first begins with changing your mindset and emotions about what you are capable of doing in your own world.  Jumping in with both feet means embracing the journey without looking back or thinking twice.  When you are prompted by the Creator to move, face a challenge or move on to the next level, do it, QUICKLY.  Inspiration begets inspiration.

You can do anything you set your mind to do.  Nothing is impossible or out of reach.  Jump in with both feet!!!

GO BIG OR GO HOME!!!

When the Spirit Soars...

My spirit has been flying so high lately.  Why? Because I am teaching a Girls Empowerment course and what my girls have taught me is priceless.  When I started on this journey, I thought I knew all the answers about how to approach life, but as you can see, I am still learning.

Before I teach every class, I pray to my Creator.  I want to say the right words that impact my girls long after I depart this earth.  I have to call them my girls for they are like the children I have never had.  Their beautiful faces and hopeful spirits fill me with a peace I have never before experienced.

As I go through this journey called life, I am amazed at all the opportunities that I have been blessed to have.  For example, I almost turned down the opportunity to teach as I had never done it before and questioned my ability to be an effective teacher.  Now I know that I am more than capable of leading any class.

My girls have taught me a number of things which I will share with you:

1.  Never underestimate children.  They will truly surprise you with how talented they are no matter 
     their race, gender, or class.

2. Don't practice the politics of low expectations.

3.  Accept any and all challenges for they teach you how amazing you really are.

4.  Obstacles are meant to be overcome.  So never give up.

5.  Pick your battles wisely.  There is no need to be hard all the time.

6.  Practice patience for that is truly one of the greatest virtues in life.

7.  Prayer changes circumstances.

8.  Believe in yourself no matter what.

9.  Thrown caution to the wind.  Just do it!

10. Fortune favors the BOLD.  Take risks and don't worry so much about the outcome.  Who you
      become after you take risks, is what is important.

These ten tips are what I practice every day with my girls.  My spirit is truly enriched for these children give me another reason to live.  They hang on every word I say because I am not there for a paycheck.  I am there to make a positive difference in their life.  I have girls that are in foster care, hungry, and deal with sexual and weight issues.  Listening to them has made me put my life in perspective.

I am so happy right now being there for them. I am a listening ear and encourage their growth.  I didn't have a "Ms. Precious" when I was growing up so I want to give them all of me at all times.  Thank you Beyonce for showing me that hard work really does pay off.

Your spirit will soar when you see beyond yourself and help others.  Be the blessing that you need in life.

Love,

Precious

Moving On...

Usually I blog about unlocking your destiny to truly live the life of your dreams.  I feel compelled to help people live the lives they were born to lead.  Too often, I see people act resigned to the fate of just merely existing watching others go after their dreams.  I was like that at one time and today, I feel blessed to be on my path and its opening doors I long thought were closed.

Today, I want to talk about relationships and what I have learned since I started dating 2 years ago.  I used to have a fiancee that I loved dearly.  He was an angel here on earth and I thought he was "The One."  We were together 7 years when I started to realize he was changing.  He started getting secretive, working out more, talking to women I didn't know until the wee hours of the morning.  I knew in my heart my relationship was coming to an end when I realized he was cheating.  He was no longer the man I knew and with a  heavy heart, I ended the relationship in March 2010.  I haven't looked back but the memory is still fresh...

By May 2010, I was ready to date for the first time in my life.  I didn't want to grow old alone.  I was ready to be someone's girl again.  I was ready to fall in love for real.  What I got was a whole lot of drama and destruction.

I met a man who was Mr. Perfect.  I met a man who was Mr. Good Guy.  And I met a man who was certifiably crazy.  They all had their flaws and in the end, they caused me such heartache.  Red flags are real and I didn't realize until it was too late and my heart was broken.

I met Mr. Crazy in May 2010 and our relationship started out fine but he kept pressuring me to be intimate with him. I couldn't understand it for I was not the type to just put out.  Sure, he was good looking but I felt he was off in some way.  We dated for 3 months and when we became intimate, I knew I wasn't ready but I was tired of being harassed about it.  After that point, he was always around me.  Everywhere I turned, he was there.  He wanted to always spend the night with me but never take me out.  Finally, I told him that if we do not go on proper dates, this is over.  He said no problem and when we scheduled our date, he flaked.  My self esteem was shattered because I didn't know why he flaked.  Was I ugly?  Too BIG to be seen out with?  What gives?  I stopped returning his phone calls and that made him go crazy.  He stalked me for 5 months.  He was there when I got home from work and when I left in the morning.  I was scared but thank GOD he moved on.  Lesson learned:  When I knew something was wrong with him, I should have walked.  Also, never be pressured into having sex before you are ready.  I am still bothered by this...

Mr. Good Guy came at the right time.  On our first date, he took me to a poetry slam.  I felt our relationship blossom over candlelit dinners, long walks in the park and enjoying each other's company.  He called when he said he would, texted when it was more convenient and made me feel like a million bucks.  He was working hard on his goals and was cute, well dressed, had a great job and a good head on his shoulders.  Being with him was a breeze and he always kept me focused on my dreams.  I saw a future that was as bright as the present.  After a while, we became intimate.  It was great because I felt we connected on multiple levels.  And then...just like that...he started growing distant.  At first, I was perplexed.  What was REALLY going on?  I tried contacting him and he would respond a week later.  I was upset but had seen the light.  Time to disengage.  When he called, I ignored him.  When he texted, I deleted the texts without looking.  Why bother?  Lesson learned:  There are men who will future fake to get what they want in the present.  Sad but true.  Some men can only fake being the good guy only so long.  You just have to be strong to put an end to foolishness before it gets ugly...

And then that brings me to Mr. Perfect, the man who literally had me at "hello."  I can still see him today, tall, bald, smooth, well dressed, articulate, sexy as a mother.  He made me laugh and stop being so self conscious.  The time we spent together was so magical, I had to pinch myself for my good fortune.  I never had someone like him be interested in me.  I am not an ugly chick but he was an actor and here I was on his arm.  What a feeling!  He called all the time, texted incessantly, and emailed like it was going out of style.  I fell so hard for him that there was no going back.  I was in love and had an extra spring in my step.

It was like he was the sun, moon and clouds.  He made everyday an adventure.  When we became intimate, I was done!!! He was perfect in that he knew my body better than I did.  I was smitten and didn't care what people thought.

And just like that...he disappeared like a thief in the night.  No phone calls, texts or emails.  When we talked, he put me down for being a pathetic attorney who wasn't going anywhere in life.  He ridiculed me for thinking that I would make it BIG.  He laughed when I told him I loved him and he blew me off when I wanted to spend time with him.  Now, I realize that I am not a size 6, former dancer, model or actress but still, I wasn't chop liver either.

He bounced in and out of my life for 2 years until I couldn't take it anymore.  I realized I was never going to be good enough for him.  He was no longer interested and I was an option when no one else was sweating him. Oh, the pain of realizing that I didn't matter or was a priority.  Lesson Learned:  All that glitters ain't gold.  When you put someone on a pedestal, they can only look down at you.  Put yourself on a pedestal and only deal with those who CONSISTENTLY make you a priority.  If they have disrespected you, call them on it.  Don't be agreeable for the sake of keeping peace and by all means, be YOU at all times.  No matter what.

I am sharing my life with you because I know that I am not alone and others need to hear the truth about life, love and relationships.  I am single now and happy to be in this space.  These relationships taught me to value myself and my opinions and to be true to myself ALWAYS.  I may be a BIG GIRL but I am deserving of all the best life has to offer.

I see beauty when I look in the mirror.  I am confident when I enter a room and I know all eyes are on me because I command respect.  I never belittle myself and I keep moving on.

Yes, my loves, moving on feels great!!!

BE BIG, BAD, and BOLD Right Now!!!

Ladies, you all know what time it is.  Its time to claim your rightful place in today's world.  That means no more excuses and no more half-stepping.  Not claiming your GOD given right to go after your destiny is no longer an option.

As I write this blog every week, I am amazed by the number of BIG GIRLS who personally write me to thank me for helping them overcome their greatest fear...themselves.  I know what its like to watch others do BIG things from afar and wish that was me.  You know what changed all that?  I made a decision that I was going to follow my heart and go after my dreams.

My age, my race, my gender no longer matter and will never stop me from being a BIG GIRL on a mission.  Its all about me doing what's best for me and that is achieving dreams that I thought long ago died in my heart but it didn't.  It just required me to be fearless.  I meant me stepping up to the plate and believing in myself.

That is all that I had to do.  Just be me and go after all that I ever wanted.  When I turned 33, I started blogging hard, working harder on my business and showing people what's possible in this life.

My advice to all of you..

1.  Stop talking about it, BE about it.  No more talking a good game.  Actually step up to the plate and take the first step towards     living your life on your terms.

2.  Get over yourself.  Life is a magnificent, beautiful journey.  Until you actually live it, you are just wasting time.

3.  Get rid of the haters in your life.  If the people around you aren't grinding and supporting your growth, they are keeping you from your destiny.

4.  Know that no matter how BIG the obstacle, RECOGNIZE that it can be overcome with faith and actually believing in yourself.

5.  GO BIG OR GO HOME.  Just be BOLD and just do it!!!

As I said before, I speak from experience.  I went from being a disgruntled attorney who hated her life to actually LOVING the life I am living.  I have been on television and in the papers because I made a decision that my goal was to get press and push my business to the next level.  Everyday I feel blessed that I stepped off the rat wheel and chased my dreams.  Nothing stops me for I never look back and I don't think twice.  I just keep moving forward.

You can do it too.  Dare to be BIG, BAD and BOLD right now!!!  I am behind you 100%.  Let's do this in 2012!!!

Unlocking Your Destiny...

There was a time in my life where I felt utterly lost.  I just couldn't seem to get myself on the right track and I believed I was a loser.  Most of my friends had great jobs, were getting married in exotic locations, having children, and living lives I desperately envied.  I kept thinking that something was wrong with me and I was a failure.  After all, I went to a great college, graduated from law school and was living in New York City.  What gives?

In my early 30s, I started reading self help books and came away with a new understanding.  I was constantly comparing myself to other people and in doing so, I was causing myself great heartache.  I started to realize that there is only one me and that it was up to me to create the life that I wanted.  I didn't have to envy others and have the same things they had.  GOD had created only one Precious Williams and I was to be unlike any other person in history.

At first, I was hesitant to make any real decisions or changes in my life.  It wasn't that I was comfortable with where I was, it was just that I was frightened with the thought that what if I tried new things and failed.  Then, I considered that I was not getting any younger and that NOW is the only time that mattered.  Not yesterday, not the future, but NOW.  NOW, I can change my life for the better.  NOW, I could be the women I always knew that I could be.  NOW, I was getting my mojo back!!!

Can I tell you how freeing it is to live life on my terms?  I awakened from my slumber and had a vision for my life that I never had before.  I had a boldness and fire within that made me a force to be reckoned with in the world.  I started writing this blog.  I became an an entrepreneur.  There was nothing that was not within my grasp.

Unlocking your destiny begins with your willingness to start anew.  The key is to to dream big and to think on a level that most people cannot even handle.  The comparisons with others or even celebrities has to stop immediately.  You are you and you are wonderfully made as you are.  Just as there is one Oprah, Beyonce, Queen Latifah and Hillary Clinton, there is only one you!!!

The greatest gift I have had on this journey is learning how to love myself, thoroughly and completely.  The more I put myself and my talents in the world, the more love I am getting back in return.  Unlocking my destiny began with a willingness to be a better me.  You can do this too.

Unlock your destiny...your future begins today...