“I Like BIG GIRLS…” and Other Stupid Things People Say and Do…

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           When I became a full figured diva, there were a few harsh truths I learned about the world.  People’s perception of me and my life were magnified because of my new size. 

            First, people would ultimately define me by my weight.  My girth became a topic of conversation whether I was a willing participant or not.  This really bothered me for I knew that I was much more than the number on a scale.

            Second, men would think it was a great pick-up line to say, “I like BIG GIRLS.”  At first, I thought that was odd.  As a woman who didn’t want my weight to be a big deal for others, I could not understand men’s fascination with telling me that.  Especially when I only wanted a man who desired a beautiful woman, with no mention of her size. 

            As my weight swelled, it was almost as if men began to downgrade me.  No, I wasn’t even asked to go on dates or even to hang out all over the city.  In fact, the conversation always seemed to go back to food.  I never mentioned eating but its all they wanted to talk about.  I can’t tell you how many men thought it was cool to say that they would like to come home with me and let me cook for them.  Brother, I don’t even cook for myself.  Are you serious?

            Third, I found out that my size often made other women uncomfortable.  So much so that I constantly felt attacked and minimized because of my weight. 

As a woman, I have dealt with many slights in my life based on my age, race, and class but how vicious other women became as I got bigger was atrocious!!!  I am already loud, proud, and fiercely independent, but other women seemed to go out of their way to cut me down and tell me that I needed to lose weight.  As if!!!

            In the end, my weight journey is all my own.  Since my weight has yo-yoed over the past few years, I have developed a deep compassion for others who are experiencing the same thing.  One thing I know for sure is that we all have our crosses to bear.  Mine is weight.  For others, it’s their sexual identity and orientation.  For others, it may be religion or age.

            I know who I am which means that I can handle these behaviors but I know that others may not be ready for the pressure that comes from gaining weight.  You are truly more than your weight and how you feel about yourself is all that matters…

            Keep moving forward…ALWAYS!!!

            Precious