When the Spirit Soars...

My spirit has been flying so high lately.  Why? Because I am teaching a Girls Empowerment course and what my girls have taught me is priceless.  When I started on this journey, I thought I knew all the answers about how to approach life, but as you can see, I am still learning.

Before I teach every class, I pray to my Creator.  I want to say the right words that impact my girls long after I depart this earth.  I have to call them my girls for they are like the children I have never had.  Their beautiful faces and hopeful spirits fill me with a peace I have never before experienced.

As I go through this journey called life, I am amazed at all the opportunities that I have been blessed to have.  For example, I almost turned down the opportunity to teach as I had never done it before and questioned my ability to be an effective teacher.  Now I know that I am more than capable of leading any class.

My girls have taught me a number of things which I will share with you:

1.  Never underestimate children.  They will truly surprise you with how talented they are no matter 
     their race, gender, or class.

2. Don't practice the politics of low expectations.

3.  Accept any and all challenges for they teach you how amazing you really are.

4.  Obstacles are meant to be overcome.  So never give up.

5.  Pick your battles wisely.  There is no need to be hard all the time.

6.  Practice patience for that is truly one of the greatest virtues in life.

7.  Prayer changes circumstances.

8.  Believe in yourself no matter what.

9.  Thrown caution to the wind.  Just do it!

10. Fortune favors the BOLD.  Take risks and don't worry so much about the outcome.  Who you
      become after you take risks, is what is important.

These ten tips are what I practice every day with my girls.  My spirit is truly enriched for these children give me another reason to live.  They hang on every word I say because I am not there for a paycheck.  I am there to make a positive difference in their life.  I have girls that are in foster care, hungry, and deal with sexual and weight issues.  Listening to them has made me put my life in perspective.

I am so happy right now being there for them. I am a listening ear and encourage their growth.  I didn't have a "Ms. Precious" when I was growing up so I want to give them all of me at all times.  Thank you Beyonce for showing me that hard work really does pay off.

Your spirit will soar when you see beyond yourself and help others.  Be the blessing that you need in life.

Love,

Precious

Moving On...

Usually I blog about unlocking your destiny to truly live the life of your dreams.  I feel compelled to help people live the lives they were born to lead.  Too often, I see people act resigned to the fate of just merely existing watching others go after their dreams.  I was like that at one time and today, I feel blessed to be on my path and its opening doors I long thought were closed.

Today, I want to talk about relationships and what I have learned since I started dating 2 years ago.  I used to have a fiancee that I loved dearly.  He was an angel here on earth and I thought he was "The One."  We were together 7 years when I started to realize he was changing.  He started getting secretive, working out more, talking to women I didn't know until the wee hours of the morning.  I knew in my heart my relationship was coming to an end when I realized he was cheating.  He was no longer the man I knew and with a  heavy heart, I ended the relationship in March 2010.  I haven't looked back but the memory is still fresh...

By May 2010, I was ready to date for the first time in my life.  I didn't want to grow old alone.  I was ready to be someone's girl again.  I was ready to fall in love for real.  What I got was a whole lot of drama and destruction.

I met a man who was Mr. Perfect.  I met a man who was Mr. Good Guy.  And I met a man who was certifiably crazy.  They all had their flaws and in the end, they caused me such heartache.  Red flags are real and I didn't realize until it was too late and my heart was broken.

I met Mr. Crazy in May 2010 and our relationship started out fine but he kept pressuring me to be intimate with him. I couldn't understand it for I was not the type to just put out.  Sure, he was good looking but I felt he was off in some way.  We dated for 3 months and when we became intimate, I knew I wasn't ready but I was tired of being harassed about it.  After that point, he was always around me.  Everywhere I turned, he was there.  He wanted to always spend the night with me but never take me out.  Finally, I told him that if we do not go on proper dates, this is over.  He said no problem and when we scheduled our date, he flaked.  My self esteem was shattered because I didn't know why he flaked.  Was I ugly?  Too BIG to be seen out with?  What gives?  I stopped returning his phone calls and that made him go crazy.  He stalked me for 5 months.  He was there when I got home from work and when I left in the morning.  I was scared but thank GOD he moved on.  Lesson learned:  When I knew something was wrong with him, I should have walked.  Also, never be pressured into having sex before you are ready.  I am still bothered by this...

Mr. Good Guy came at the right time.  On our first date, he took me to a poetry slam.  I felt our relationship blossom over candlelit dinners, long walks in the park and enjoying each other's company.  He called when he said he would, texted when it was more convenient and made me feel like a million bucks.  He was working hard on his goals and was cute, well dressed, had a great job and a good head on his shoulders.  Being with him was a breeze and he always kept me focused on my dreams.  I saw a future that was as bright as the present.  After a while, we became intimate.  It was great because I felt we connected on multiple levels.  And then...just like that...he started growing distant.  At first, I was perplexed.  What was REALLY going on?  I tried contacting him and he would respond a week later.  I was upset but had seen the light.  Time to disengage.  When he called, I ignored him.  When he texted, I deleted the texts without looking.  Why bother?  Lesson learned:  There are men who will future fake to get what they want in the present.  Sad but true.  Some men can only fake being the good guy only so long.  You just have to be strong to put an end to foolishness before it gets ugly...

And then that brings me to Mr. Perfect, the man who literally had me at "hello."  I can still see him today, tall, bald, smooth, well dressed, articulate, sexy as a mother.  He made me laugh and stop being so self conscious.  The time we spent together was so magical, I had to pinch myself for my good fortune.  I never had someone like him be interested in me.  I am not an ugly chick but he was an actor and here I was on his arm.  What a feeling!  He called all the time, texted incessantly, and emailed like it was going out of style.  I fell so hard for him that there was no going back.  I was in love and had an extra spring in my step.

It was like he was the sun, moon and clouds.  He made everyday an adventure.  When we became intimate, I was done!!! He was perfect in that he knew my body better than I did.  I was smitten and didn't care what people thought.

And just like that...he disappeared like a thief in the night.  No phone calls, texts or emails.  When we talked, he put me down for being a pathetic attorney who wasn't going anywhere in life.  He ridiculed me for thinking that I would make it BIG.  He laughed when I told him I loved him and he blew me off when I wanted to spend time with him.  Now, I realize that I am not a size 6, former dancer, model or actress but still, I wasn't chop liver either.

He bounced in and out of my life for 2 years until I couldn't take it anymore.  I realized I was never going to be good enough for him.  He was no longer interested and I was an option when no one else was sweating him. Oh, the pain of realizing that I didn't matter or was a priority.  Lesson Learned:  All that glitters ain't gold.  When you put someone on a pedestal, they can only look down at you.  Put yourself on a pedestal and only deal with those who CONSISTENTLY make you a priority.  If they have disrespected you, call them on it.  Don't be agreeable for the sake of keeping peace and by all means, be YOU at all times.  No matter what.

I am sharing my life with you because I know that I am not alone and others need to hear the truth about life, love and relationships.  I am single now and happy to be in this space.  These relationships taught me to value myself and my opinions and to be true to myself ALWAYS.  I may be a BIG GIRL but I am deserving of all the best life has to offer.

I see beauty when I look in the mirror.  I am confident when I enter a room and I know all eyes are on me because I command respect.  I never belittle myself and I keep moving on.

Yes, my loves, moving on feels great!!!

BE BIG, BAD, and BOLD Right Now!!!

Ladies, you all know what time it is.  Its time to claim your rightful place in today's world.  That means no more excuses and no more half-stepping.  Not claiming your GOD given right to go after your destiny is no longer an option.

As I write this blog every week, I am amazed by the number of BIG GIRLS who personally write me to thank me for helping them overcome their greatest fear...themselves.  I know what its like to watch others do BIG things from afar and wish that was me.  You know what changed all that?  I made a decision that I was going to follow my heart and go after my dreams.

My age, my race, my gender no longer matter and will never stop me from being a BIG GIRL on a mission.  Its all about me doing what's best for me and that is achieving dreams that I thought long ago died in my heart but it didn't.  It just required me to be fearless.  I meant me stepping up to the plate and believing in myself.

That is all that I had to do.  Just be me and go after all that I ever wanted.  When I turned 33, I started blogging hard, working harder on my business and showing people what's possible in this life.

My advice to all of you..

1.  Stop talking about it, BE about it.  No more talking a good game.  Actually step up to the plate and take the first step towards     living your life on your terms.

2.  Get over yourself.  Life is a magnificent, beautiful journey.  Until you actually live it, you are just wasting time.

3.  Get rid of the haters in your life.  If the people around you aren't grinding and supporting your growth, they are keeping you from your destiny.

4.  Know that no matter how BIG the obstacle, RECOGNIZE that it can be overcome with faith and actually believing in yourself.

5.  GO BIG OR GO HOME.  Just be BOLD and just do it!!!

As I said before, I speak from experience.  I went from being a disgruntled attorney who hated her life to actually LOVING the life I am living.  I have been on television and in the papers because I made a decision that my goal was to get press and push my business to the next level.  Everyday I feel blessed that I stepped off the rat wheel and chased my dreams.  Nothing stops me for I never look back and I don't think twice.  I just keep moving forward.

You can do it too.  Dare to be BIG, BAD and BOLD right now!!!  I am behind you 100%.  Let's do this in 2012!!!

Unlocking Your Destiny...

There was a time in my life where I felt utterly lost.  I just couldn't seem to get myself on the right track and I believed I was a loser.  Most of my friends had great jobs, were getting married in exotic locations, having children, and living lives I desperately envied.  I kept thinking that something was wrong with me and I was a failure.  After all, I went to a great college, graduated from law school and was living in New York City.  What gives?

In my early 30s, I started reading self help books and came away with a new understanding.  I was constantly comparing myself to other people and in doing so, I was causing myself great heartache.  I started to realize that there is only one me and that it was up to me to create the life that I wanted.  I didn't have to envy others and have the same things they had.  GOD had created only one Precious Williams and I was to be unlike any other person in history.

At first, I was hesitant to make any real decisions or changes in my life.  It wasn't that I was comfortable with where I was, it was just that I was frightened with the thought that what if I tried new things and failed.  Then, I considered that I was not getting any younger and that NOW is the only time that mattered.  Not yesterday, not the future, but NOW.  NOW, I can change my life for the better.  NOW, I could be the women I always knew that I could be.  NOW, I was getting my mojo back!!!

Can I tell you how freeing it is to live life on my terms?  I awakened from my slumber and had a vision for my life that I never had before.  I had a boldness and fire within that made me a force to be reckoned with in the world.  I started writing this blog.  I became an an entrepreneur.  There was nothing that was not within my grasp.

Unlocking your destiny begins with your willingness to start anew.  The key is to to dream big and to think on a level that most people cannot even handle.  The comparisons with others or even celebrities has to stop immediately.  You are you and you are wonderfully made as you are.  Just as there is one Oprah, Beyonce, Queen Latifah and Hillary Clinton, there is only one you!!!

The greatest gift I have had on this journey is learning how to love myself, thoroughly and completely.  The more I put myself and my talents in the world, the more love I am getting back in return.  Unlocking my destiny began with a willingness to be a better me.  You can do this too.

Unlock your destiny...your future begins today...

Oh, How the Tables Have Turned!!!

If you have been reading my blog for awhile, then you would know that this year has been quite a journey for me.  After living a mediocre life for the past few years, something had to give.  I had to live the life I dreamed of...a life on my terms.

My vision of success lied in me refusing to be average, random or ordinary.  So January 22, 2012, I made the decision that it was now or never.  My life had to mean something and I had to embrace the woman within.

I ended friendships that were no longer friendly.  I decided that being a lawyer was no longer an option.  I became an entrepreneur.  I started writing this blog as a way for me to share my growth with all of you.

In all my growing, I didn't realize that my greatest battle still lied within.  My ability to survive a broken heart was tested last week.  This relationship tested my very will to live.  I loved this man.  But this same man abused, mistreated and disrespected me.  I wasn't thin enough.  I wasn't smart enough.  I wasn't cool enough...to keep him by my side.  After two years of pathetically throwing myself at him, I finally had to let him go.  It was hard and I thought I had licked it...until he wanted to see me.

My friends and family advised against it.  My mind told me no.  My heart said "please, one last time."  My heart won out.  But I was so scared he would point out the fact that I had gained weight.  I was scared that he would tell me I was no longer attractive.  I was scared that he would tell me once and for all I was never on his level or good enough to be on his arm.

Wouldn't you know it?  The tables hard turned my friends!!!!  When I saw him, he no longer was Mr. Swagger!!!  He was no longer fly!!!  He was thinner and had a look of defeat.  He no longer had any money.  He was not working.  He was rather pitiful.

He spent more time telling me he was proud of me.  Me?  Me?  Me?  Yes, me.  He was proud that I was an entrepreneur.  He was proud that I followed my dreams.  I actually felt him look at me differently.  Gone was the look that "I can do better."  It was replaced by "wow, you are on it, Precious."

The moral of the story is that I had changed.  I wasn't pathetic.  I was a new person.  I wasn't broken-hearted.  I was different.  I had grown into myself.  I loved myself and I would no longer tolerate his bullsh### and lies.  He couldn't hurt me anymore.

His day of reckoning had come.  The very things he said to me years earlier were now being said to him.  He was no longer the greatest thing that happened to me.  He was just another experience in my life.

I now know what it means to survive and thrive.  I learned that my self-love is greater than any love on this earth.  There is nothing wrong with me.  I am beautiful and its about time I knew that.

Do know that one day, the tables will turn.  I promise...

Girls, you know what time it is.  Get right on the inside.  No man is worth your happiness.  No person should be able to make you feel less than.  You are wonderful and wonderfully made.  Love yourself...it is truly the greatest love of all!!!

The Best Light for the Journey...

As you all know, I am on a personal quest this year to go after all my dreams.  I am fearless and determined to be successful as a writer, producer, entrepreneur and on-air talent. 

It's so funny that when I made this decision, all kinds of craziness came my way.  People from my past reappeared.  Situations that I thought I had handled flared up again. Sometimes, my insecurities got the better of me.  I kept asking myself why is all of this happening?  I then realized that as soon as I became clear about what I am doing, these situations were put in my life to see if I have what it takes to stay the course.

First, the man I am madly in love with, who is bad for me, just reappeared in my life with a vengeance.  He didn't apologize for his absence and just acted as if I should be grateful he is back.  On one hand, I am so happy to have him back in my life.  On the other hand, I have played this game before and lost a number of times.  He is my Goliath and at this point, if I am to move forward, he must be slayed.  So I just decided that we will no longer be seeing each other no matter how bad I want to see him.  We will no longer be talking because it makes me an emotional wreck.  I feel good about this decision and hopefully, I can stick to making it happen. 

Secondly, I made the decision this year to no longer perform legal work or hold myself out to be an attorney.  I feel so good about this decision because I no longer feel tied to just being what my degree says that I am.  Wouldn't you know it that a few big cases, worth a lot of money, have come my way?  At first, I was ready to jump right in and put my lawyer cap on but on further reflection, that is not the path I am on anymore.  I am chasing my dreams and being an attorney is not one of them.  Moving on...

Thirdly, I had some friendships that I terminated because of disloyalty, disrespect and abuse.  I made it clear that I would no longer engage in these relationships but some people are persistent in trying to get my attention now that they see that I am making a name for myself.  They can't seem to apologize enough but I am so over it!!!  I don't need validation and affection from those who I was never a priority for when we were friends.  I have truly let these relationships go and plan on keeping it that way.

So what does all this mean?  I figure it means that I am growing as a woman, a strong woman at that.  I hope that my life experiences have illuminated the way for others.
Moving on is hard but so worth it.  I feel free in a way that I have never experienced before.  What used to hold me back is now fuel for my fire.  I tell the world everyday, get ready, 'cause I am coming!!!

Don't let yourself get caught up with your past.  Its a trap that prevents you from living your best life.  You can do it.  Sometimes the best light for the journey is the result of a burning bridge...

A Better Me...

I can't tell you how many years I spent trying to make people like me.  I allowed myself to become extremely agreeable, funny, and nice for fear that the real me would cause them to run away.  I honestly believed that there was something wrong with me.

It's funny, when I turned 33, I decided that it was best to just be me.  I looked in the mirror and made a commitment to be true to myself.  I actually liked what I saw in my reflection.  I decided that I would no longer wear a mask or be the way people expected me to be.  I became comfortable in my own skin.  I learned that there was nothing wrong with being myself and whoever did not like me as I was was not meant to be in my life.

I can't tell you how ultimately freeing it was to just be myself.  To love myself without abandon.  To accept the things that are just "me."  At first, it was strange feeling this way.  Now, it is second nature.

When all else fails, do you.  What does that mean?  It means being true to yourself and accepting yourself as you are and not how you wish to be.  It means being present and not stuck in the past or the future.  Being one with who you are is a gift that most people never truly get.