As you all know, I am on a personal quest this year to go after all my dreams. I am fearless and determined to be successful as a writer, producer, entrepreneur and on-air talent.
It's so funny that when I made this decision, all kinds of craziness came my way. People from my past reappeared. Situations that I thought I had handled flared up again. Sometimes, my insecurities got the better of me. I kept asking myself why is all of this happening? I then realized that as soon as I became clear about what I am doing, these situations were put in my life to see if I have what it takes to stay the course.
First, the man I am madly in love with, who is bad for me, just reappeared in my life with a vengeance. He didn't apologize for his absence and just acted as if I should be grateful he is back. On one hand, I am so happy to have him back in my life. On the other hand, I have played this game before and lost a number of times. He is my Goliath and at this point, if I am to move forward, he must be slayed. So I just decided that we will no longer be seeing each other no matter how bad I want to see him. We will no longer be talking because it makes me an emotional wreck. I feel good about this decision and hopefully, I can stick to making it happen.
Secondly, I made the decision this year to no longer perform legal work or hold myself out to be an attorney. I feel so good about this decision because I no longer feel tied to just being what my degree says that I am. Wouldn't you know it that a few big cases, worth a lot of money, have come my way? At first, I was ready to jump right in and put my lawyer cap on but on further reflection, that is not the path I am on anymore. I am chasing my dreams and being an attorney is not one of them. Moving on...
Thirdly, I had some friendships that I terminated because of disloyalty, disrespect and abuse. I made it clear that I would no longer engage in these relationships but some people are persistent in trying to get my attention now that they see that I am making a name for myself. They can't seem to apologize enough but I am so over it!!! I don't need validation and affection from those who I was never a priority for when we were friends. I have truly let these relationships go and plan on keeping it that way.
So what does all this mean? I figure it means that I am growing as a woman, a strong woman at that. I hope that my life experiences have illuminated the way for others.
Moving on is hard but so worth it. I feel free in a way that I have never experienced before. What used to hold me back is now fuel for my fire. I tell the world everyday, get ready, 'cause I am coming!!!
Don't let yourself get caught up with your past. Its a trap that prevents you from living your best life. You can do it. Sometimes the best light for the journey is the result of a burning bridge...
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