When All Else Fails, Do You!!!

I can't tell you how many years I spent trying to make people like me.  I allowed myself to become extremely agreeable, funny, and nice for fear that the real me would cause them to run away.  I honestly believed that there was something wrong with me.

It's funny, when I turned 33, I decided that it was best to just be me.  I looked in the mirror and made a commitment to be true to myself.  I actually liked what I saw in my reflection.  I decided that I would no longer wear a mask or be the way people expected me to be.  I became comfortable in my own skin.  I learned that there was nothing wrong with being myself and whoever did not like me as I was was not meant to be in my life.

I can't tell you how ultimately freeing it was to just be myself.  To love myself without abandon.  To accept the things that are just "me."  At first, it was strange feeling this way.  Now, it is second nature.

When all else fails, do you.  What does that mean?  It means being true to yourself and accepting yourself as you are and not how you wish to be.  It means being present and not stuck in the past or the future.  Being one with who you are is a gift that most people never truly get. 

Loving Your Star Player...

 After years of disliking myself, I made a promise to myself as I turned 33 to live my life differently.  I was determined to love the person who was staring back at me in the mirror everyday.  As the days go by, I love me more and more.

Wouldn’t you know that as I put more love into myself, more love came my way.  After years of chasing a man who could have cared less, another man entered my life saying  that he liked me as is.  Did you hear me?  As is!!!  Although I am cautiously optimistic, I feel peaceful knowing no matter what happens, I will be fine.  I am going to keep loving myself regardless.

I have been wanting to write this post for a while because I feel like most people walk around everyday hating themselves.  They pick at every little thing they think is wrong with them and show themselves no love.   As a consequence, they are short tempered with everyone else and are pretty difficult to deal with all the time.

But loving yourself doesn’t have to be hard or fake.  It just is.  It’s about appreciating yourself for who you are, what you bring to the table, and letting your light shine.  It’s about being real with who you are and loving yourself no matter what you do.

When you love yourself, you will no longer stand for people treating you with anything less than respect.  You will not tolerate pettiness, mistreatment or abuse.  When you love yourself, you signal to others how to treat you.

I am a living witness to the power of self-love.  People actually treat me better today than they have at any other period in my life.  Loving myself allows others to love me as I am.  I am still a BIG Girl in the City and I am standing tall and looking good.

I challenge you to fall in love with yourself in 2012.  You too will see that loving yourself has beautiful effects!!!

Live Your Life...On Your Terms....

Are you happy with the life you are living?  If not, you can change it!!!  Really, you can.

I used to be the most unhappy attorney.  I spent years going to school, preparing to be an attorney.  After 7 years, I actually attained that dream but it did not live up to the hype.  I spent time working in firms where it was apparent that as a black woman, I was never going to get ahead.  I was never treated right and I went from job to job hating every experience.

So what did I do?  I just changed my perspective.  Since being a lawyer wasn't working for me, I decided to start my own business.  Was it hard?  Yes, but so rewarding.  I don't wake up upset I have to go to a 9-5 with people I do not like.  I don't have to hate my life and only live for the weekends.  What kind of life is that anyway?  And you know what?  People respect people who live life on their terms.  I had to stop defending my decision to life life outrageously and just live my life.

Slowly but surely, things began to work out.  I realized who my friends and family really were.  I gained strength from realizing my true priorities.  I developed a thick skin.  And I only surrounded myself with positive people.

What about you?  What can you change?  In a bad relationship?  Know that you can do better.  Living in a one-sided fantasy?  Know that it cannot compare to a real, happy relationship.  Not happy with yourself or your surroundings?  Know that you can change that...TODAY.  Friends not supporting you?  Get rid of them and start afresh.

Happiness really is a choice.  You can change any situation by changing your perspective.  You want to make changes in your life?  You can change any and everything in your life.  Let nothing stop you from doing what you need to do.  Live your life...on your terms.

Standing Tall, Looking Good!!!

 
Being a Big Girl in the City is all about having a positive attitude.  We have an approach to life that captivates the world and always keeps them guessing.  A Big Girl never settles for being average, random or ordinary.

I created my business, Curvy Girlz Lingerie, LLC because I was tired of not being able to find pretty lingerie in my size.  I wanted my man to see me in a sexy light and wasn't able to find intimate apparel that expressed my sensuality.  Instead of just talking about it, I decided to do something about it.  That  is what Big Girls do, they make things happen!!!

When it came to my weight, I made no apologies for being a size 22.  I did not ask to be accepted by society.  I just made a way by being myself.  That is what Big Girls do, they know their worth!!!

As a Big Girl, I encourage other Big Girls' to embrace who they are in all that they do. After all, we are the majority, they are not.  That's what Big Girls do, they love themselves completely!!!

We are seductive, sexy, and talented divas.  We make mens' hearts melt with every sway of our hips.  Our very nature is inviting and at times...intoxicating.  We are who we are and that is beautiful.

Never forget who you are.  You are deserving of love, honor and respect.  Hold your head high for you are a Big Girl in the City!!!